My name is Alexa Van Lerberg
I graduated from the University of Kansas with a degree in Philosophy.
How I met the Apostles of the Interior Life While I was in high school, I scheduled a meeting with Sr. Loredana, and she greeted me at their house in Overland Park with a big smile and chocolate chip cookies! I really liked the Apostles from the start. They were fun, relatable, caring and joyful!
Vocation story
Growing up, I found both marriage and consecrated life to be beautiful vocations. I was never really opposed to either one, although I would go through cycles in which I would prefer one vocation and then the other. After my first year of college, I moved back home for the summer. One day, I decided to go for a run and felt prompted to run laps in our big pasture. As I ran I prayed, and I reflected on Mary’s vocation. I thought to myself: “Whether I’m called to marriage or to consecrated life, I can be like Mary! She was a spouse of Joseph, and thus married. But she was also a virgin dedicated to the Lord, and thus consecrated.” For the first time in my life, I felt a complete freedom to accept a vocation in either direction and I felt such peace. As I continued running, I made a turn and saw the most beautiful rainbow arching across the whole sky. I knelt down in joy and gratitude at such an incredible sign! When I went back to KU for my sophomore year, I began to intentionally discern and pray about my vocation. I didn’t feel quite as free any more, and I wanted to be called to marriage. However, I couldn’t ignore the powerful moments I had experienced on several occasions in which I felt that I could only be happy if I belonged completely to Jesus.
At the time, I was being spiritually accompanied by one of the sisters, and she helped me to see my fears in my discernment. I wanted to be one hundred percent sure of whatever my vocation was before I said yes. But she helped me to see that part of the beauty of accepting a vocation is the risk that is involved. There is never complete certainty, but a vocation is accepted in trust. During finals week in December of my sophomore year, I found myself praying in the St. Lawrence chapel. I brought all my fears to the Lord about my vocation, and as soon as I shared them with Him, I felt Him inviting me to consecrated life. I felt such interior peace and responded with Mary, “Behold, I am the handmaid of the Lord. Let it be done to me according to your word.” Earlier that morning, my dad had sent me a picture of a rainbow that had appeared over my house in Shawnee. One rainbow marked the day I felt the freedom to accept either vocation; another rainbow marked the day I felt called to go down the road of consecrated life. After accepting this call, I began to look at different religious orders around Kansas City. Although they were all beautiful, none of them seemed to be the right fit for me. Only slowly did I realize that my heart was drawn to the Apostles. I saw in myself a desire to help people discover and see the beauty of a relationship with Christ. Now I find myself at peace in a community where I can do just that alongside my sisters.
I was accepted into the community on December 23, 2016. I worked and fundraised until I paid off my college loans while living with the community in Lawrence. I officially began formation in August of 2017. Now I am preparing to make my promises of chastity, poverty and obedience within the community of the Apostles on December 8, 2024.
“What’s important in life is not doing something, but to be born and to let ourselves be loved.” –Servant of God Chiara Corbella
“In him was life, and the life was the light of men. The light shines in the darkness, and the darkness has not overcome it.” –John 1:4-5
